While retrieving a couple of days’ worth of mail over the weekend, I discovered a curious delivery in my box. It was a Christmas card I had long been expecting but never received.
Actually, it was a mangled envelope that had once presumably contained a Christmas card, stamped with a haphazard “DELIVER TO ADDRESSEE WITHOUT CONTENTS” message, and stuffed into a taped-shut United States Postal Service baggie adorned with a pre-printed apology message.
“WE CARE,” the government courier assured me despite damning evidence to the contrary, before writing:
Dear Postal Customer,
We sincerely regret the damage to your mail during handling by the Postal Service. We hope this incident did not inconvenience you. We realize that your mail is important to you and that you have every right to expect it to be delivered in good condition.
Although every effort is made to prevent damage to the mail, occasionally this will occur because of the great volume handled and the rapid processing methods which must be employed to assure the most expeditous distribution possible.
We hope you understand…
Sincerely,
Your Postmaster
It’s a bit frustrating that my dear, faraway friend spent some 60-odd cents to send me an empty, torn-open envelope that was dropped off in a sandwich bag a month after Christmas (and, the way people time their seasonal greetings, probably two months after it was supposed to arrive). But, of course, I do “understand,” Mr. Postmaster, that life isn’t perfect. We live in a
