Politics

Have We Considered Arming Ukraine With Haitian Cannibals?

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President Joe Biden can solve the migrant crisis and bring peace to Ukraine in one fell swoop, solidifying his place in the annals of history as America’s greatest president. He will have to get a little creative, but accomplishing this is surprisingly achievable and aligns with his priorities.

The war in Ukraine rages on. As does the invasion at our southern border and the broader illegal immigration crisis. Biden’s handling of both has left him politically vulnerable and threatens his reelection. The latter will now only grow worse, with Haiti descending further and further into chaos as heavily armed street gangs allegedly led by cannibal warlords run amok. Some red states are already preparing for the inevitable influx of Haitian refugees.

America’s military resources are running low, and inflation is out of control. Sending more government cheese to Ukraine is unwise, albeit inevitable. After all, Biden is committed to supporting the Sisyphusian Ukrainian war effort until Zelensky declares victory. On this, he is resolute and uncompromising.

And, indeed, compromise is unnecessary, but so is sending money and guns. 

Biden routinely praises Ukraine as a bastion of democracy and freedom. And we’re led to believe one of the main reasons people continue to disregard our immigration laws and enter the country is because they are seeking political refuge. Fighting-age men riot at the Texan border, brandishing knives and makeshift shivs at the National Guard because they desperately want to live in a democratic nation, so the narrative goes. 

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