Hollywood is awash with live-action news — most recently that Disney is giving its 2016 flick “Moana” a remake way too soon. Adults who grew up on the OG princess flicks, however, are still a little miffed at a different live-action announcement about the forthcoming redo of “The Little Mermaid” — and no, it has nothing to do with the skin color of the seashell-clad leading lady.
In a Vanity Fair interview last week, composer Alan Menken, who helped write the songs and score for the animated 1989 film and is now working on some new songs with Lin-Manuel Miranda for the remake, revealed the new “Little Mermaid” will feature not just new songs — but changes to the classics.
Unsurprisingly, one of these tracks is “Kiss the Girl,” lambasted by the same types of scolds who can’t abide “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” The song explicitly sets the mood for the beloved boat-ride scene that teases a lip lock between the protagonists but tragically doesn’t deliver when the pair is capsized by some evil eels. The other is “Poor Unfortunate Souls,” the ominous tune sea witch Ursula belts out as she successfully lures mermaid Ariel into a bad deal.
Poor, Unfortunate Scolds
These songs are problematic, say modern sensibilities and thus Disney. “Poor Unfortunate Souls,” for instance, includes, according to Menken, “lines that might make young girls somehow feel that they shouldn’t speak out of turn.” In it, the sea villain sings:
The men up there don’t like a
