In sensational Congressional testimony this week, a former high-level Pentagon official said that the U.S. government has made physical contact with “non-human biologics” recovered from unearthly space crafts. I can confirm first-hand that there are extra-terrestrials who have made it to America in recent days and they have drafted a report of their findings, to be released to the broader cosmos upon its completion. Here is a brief summary:
The Other World Touring Foreigners (O-WTFs) took particular interest in America’s status as the planet’s richest nation, which appears to do little if anything to protect that designation. They viewed its southern border as something like a gaping wound that natives refuse to cover or close but only stare at as lethal toxins pour inside. They’ve set a timer for how long before the situation is addressed or before it leads to a collapse of the civilization.
O-WTFs were entertained by the ongoing drama engulfing the U.S. president and his professed drug addict son, especially the episode wherein cocaine was found in their home but was allegedly unable to be traced to its owner. Also, the illogical process by which the younger Biden was brought forth before a court to answer for criminal offenses, for which it was intended for him to receive no punishment on those offenses and potentially yet uncovered ones.
The visitors were likewise flummoxed by a medical mystery with another important figure, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, yet one more octogenarian leading the nation, who on Wednesday
