Last week, The Cut profiled nine women about “the Moment They Knew Their Marriage Was Over,” noting, “as painful as it may be” sometimes divorce is “exactly what you have to do.” It’s true that the marriage challenges adults face are often weighty. But what both The Cut and our culture largely ignore is the life-long cost divorce inflicts on children, preferring to believe that what children want most is “happy” parents rather than parents who work to stay married.
In reality, many children feel their parent’s divorce is one of the most devastating events in their life, an event that damages their own self-perception and hinders their ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. The Federalist spoke with nine children, whose names have been changed, about their lives in the moments and years following their parents’ announcement that their marriage was over.
My mother told me she was divorcing my father when I was 17 years old. My brother had already gone to college, so I was alone. My first reaction was “I just want the fighting to stop.” I thought the divorce would bring relief, I had no idea what the impact of the dissolution of our family would bring.
Both parents went on with their lives, and I was left alone to figure things out on my own. Our house was sold, I went off to college, and felt devastated I had no family or home to go back to anymore.
I couldn’t reconcile the
